“Hey did you hear what happened to Nursing Birth? I heard she was struck down by a bolt of lightning when she encouraged one of her patients to push in an upright position instead of on her back in stirrups! She hasn’t been the same since!!
“No, no no…you’ve got the story all wrong! I heard that the government had to put her into the witness protection program after she suggested to a room full of obstetrical residents that a woman could indeed deliver a baby WITHOUT pitocin! And it didn’t help matters when she then told the group that women do not have to have a vaginal exam every two hours while in labor! That really set them over the edge!!
“I heard she was captured by an angry mob of obstetricians after mentioning the possibility of a TOLAC for a woman who showed up on the ward in labor after 5pm at night! They held her captive on a deserted island where she was forced to listen to lectures touting the “benefits” of elective primary cesarean sections for all pregnant women!!”
“You know what I heard? I heard she had a nervous breakdown after hearing 20 maternity nurses simultaneously utter the phrase “Why don’t you just let us take the baby to the nursery tonight and give him a bottle so that you can get some rest” while at the same time shoving a box of pacifiers into her mouth!
“No, you all have it wrong! I heard that she had to flee the country after a group of anesthesiologists overheard her admit to a patient that indeed epidurals do carry some RISKS to both mothers and babies! Rumor has it they chased after her screaming “HERETIC! BLASPHEMY!”
No you are not seeing things! It’s really ME! Your old friend NursingBirth! I’m sure you all just did a double take when you saw my post pop up on your google reader but it is true, I am back! However as hard as it is to believe, none of the above scenarios are true!
Despite the fact of me being back, however, being “better than ever” is unfortunately debatable. The last 5 months have been a whirlwind of highs and lows, with Christmas time with my family, a newborn nephew, and more than double the amount of sunny days being a few of the “highs” and the selling of my first home, moving TWICE and to a new state, dealing with the bureaucracy of multi-state boards of nursing, a panicked job search, a husband out of work, moving away from my very best friend, and starting a new job as being some of the, well… “lows.”
When I wrote my last post back at the end of October, (WOW, I haven been “gone” for 5 months. No wonder why my readers have been getting frantic!!) I truly did think that I would be back in action at the computer in only a few weeks. But the multiple moves really took a lot out of me especially since we spent one of those months without the internet. (AAHHH! NO INTERNET! Lame I know but I am crippled without it!! Haha!) However, the biggest hurdle that I had to overcome in order to return as “NursingBirth” was my “new” job.
Why was my “new” job a hurdle you ask? Seems like a new job would bring an endless amount of new material. And in reality it absolutely has. However as I stated in my last post, when my husband and I decided to move and hence leave behind my “old” job (which hereby will be referred to as “Big High-Risk Urban Hospital” or BHRUH) I started out on a quest to find and work for a hospital or birth center that was both truly mother-friendly as well as baby friendly in their philosophy, attitudes, actions, and outcomes. I did not want “more of the same.”
But what happened is that I, NursingBirth, became a victim of the Ol’ Bait and Switch!!!!
What was supposed to be a beautiful beginning to a long career at a nice community hospital turned into a deep depression as day by day I realized more and more that I was in waaaaaaaay over my head. However, I wasn’t in “over my head” as far as my nursing skills or knowledge was concerned. In fact, I saw, experienced, and managed situations at BHRUH daily that the nurses at my new job (which will be henceforth referred to as “Bait and Switch Community Hospital” or B&SCH) experienced monthly or even yearly. (Not that that is good or bad. No value judgements here. I also fully acknowledge that there is still much I have to learn and have yet to experience as a nurse.) I was in way over my head because the “mother friendly/baby friendly” hospital that I thougth I was working for was actually a:
“Don’t under any circumstances rock the boat or the nursing leadership will throw you under the bus–We do things here this way because that is the way we have always done them so don’t confuse me with the facts– If you don’t give me my way I’ll just take my patients to your biggest rival instead– Look at all our big screen TVs and SHINY THINGS while we distract you and seperate your baby from you at every possible opportunity– Your nursing license and the safety of the patients comes second to keeping doctors happy– Give them all an epidural at the door to keep them quiet– My C/S rate goes up when I am in a bad mood– Every admission to the nursery= More money for the hospital–No midwives allowed–You can’t do anything to change things here because nurses are not an equal member of the healthcare team” hospital.
And it wasn’t until I made the very hard decision to leave B&SCH that I have had the motivation and inspiration to start writing again.
But today I also come to you with good news!!! As of May 3rd I will be starting a yet another NEW job at community hospital #2 which I will from here-on-out be referring to as “Birth Center in Disguise” or BCID!! Luckily my decision to leave B&SCH coincided with a random, word-of-mouth, unlisted job opportunity at BCID that lead to an interview and job offer last Thursday!!! I feel revitalized and excited and nervous and joyful as well as so many other emotions that I just had to write about them all!!
I hope you will all stick with me over the next few posts as I process and debreif the last 5 months of my life. I feel like there is so much I want to share with you about what I have been going through and I haven’t had anyone else to process all this with! I also want to appologize for going MIA for so long. It was so hard for me to come back but I hope that I am back for a long time. I didn’t realize how much I really got out of blogging and I really missed how much I learned from all of you!
Thanks again for all your words of encouragement and pleas for me to return over the past 5 months. There is no doubt that without them I would never have returned! You all rock!!