Submitted on 2009/10/18 at 9:43pm
Comment left at: Top Ten Things Women Say/Do During Labor (And trust me… they are totally normal!)
Dear NursingBirth,
Hello, I know this is an old post, but I’ve been searching information on vomiting during labour for a few hours (lol!) and can’t quite find what I’m looking for. So with the housework waiting I thought I should just come out with it and ask! Your post is very informative and you seem lovely so I hope you are able to help me! (Or others who have been through it!)
I have emetophobia (fear of vomiting), and find I am able to calm myself about the potential of vomiting (because I have had to face that fact that I can’t just escape it!), if I
#1: Know that “everything will be ok” if I do vomit. (i.e. Mainly that people won’t be disgusted, or freaked out and that someone will be able to deal with, well, the result, if I’m not able to. Even though I’ve never vomited anywhere except in a toilet, it’s just the potential that terrifies me! My husband is a wonder, and it’s only actually since being with him that I’ve begun to get over the phobia because he’s not scared about it, and not fazed by it).
And
#2: Remember that I can handle vomiting much better if it isn’t preceded by hours and hours of painful nausea.
SO, I find myself trying to prepare mentally for the possibility of throwing up during labour, and I have some questions stemming from this for you (I know it is an irrational fear, and these questions seem trivial but they are things that really stress me out – I actually lose sleep over them – so I appreciate your answers):
#1 Will the midwives be ok if I throw up all over the place? Will the staff get disgusted or freaked out?
#2 Will the staff clean it up or will I or my husband have to?
#3 What happens if it gets in my hair?
#4 Will I choke because I might be lying down?
#5 Will everything be okay if I do vomit?
And, finally
#6 Is it a different kind of vomiting – one that just kind of happens, rather than following hours of terrible nausea?
Anyway, I don’t mean to waste your time, and many thanks in anticipation of any answers – I’m just trying to mentally calm myself so I can focus more on the really important things about labour – like my baby!!
Sincerely,
NervousMumToBe
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Dear NervousMumToBe,
First of all I am sending you one MAJOR cyber *HUG* right now complete with back patting and me saying “You can do this!!” 🙂
Second, you are NOT wasting my time so don’t mention it!! I have written before about worrying, that is that “WORRY is the WORK of pregnancy!” In her book Birthing From Within, certified nurse midwife Pam England tells the story about a patient of hers (Hannah) that worried a lot about having a natural birth experience after having had a highly medicalized birth with her first baby. She writes that Hannah longed to hear her say things like “Don’t worry” and “Everything will be alright” but instead England encouraged her to face her fears. She instructed Hannah to write down all of her worries and explore each of them with questions like “What, if anything, can you do to prepare for what you are worrying about?” and “If there is nothing you can do to prevent it, how would you like to handle the situation?”
England lists the “Ten Common Worries” of Labor as:
1) Not being able to stand the pain
2) Not being able to relax
3) Feeling rushed, or fear of taking too long
4) My pelvis not big enough
5) My cervix won’t open
6) Lack of privacy
7) Being judged for making noise
8.) Being separated from the baby
9) Having to fight for my wishes to be respected
10) Having intervention and not knowing if it is necessary or what else to do
I would like to add #11:
11) Fear of pooping in labor/Fear of embarrassment regarding bodily functions
As you know I am a labor and delivery nurse and have estimated that I have been present at over 300 births during my career and still, I would have to say that when it is my time to give birth, #1 through #6 are top on my list of worries!! And I witness the amazing power of women everyday!! So NervousMumToBe, don’t *worry* about “worrying” about vomiting! I am so happy that you are FACING YOUR FEARS!! If vomiting is something that you are really concerned about, no matter how trivial it might seem to others, it is important to you and that is all that matters! So I applaud you!
Okay now that the most important thing is out of the way (i.e. the hug) lets get down and dirty about the #2 thing on every pregnant woman’s mind…VOMITING IN LABOR!! (If you are wondering what the #1 thing on every pregnant woman’s mind is it is POOP. Don’t believe me? Check it out here.) I want to preface the following post with a few things in the interest of full disclosure:
- I am drawing from both my experience as a labor and delivery nurse (as well as a medical/surgical nurse and nurse’s aide) and the research I have read on this subject to write this post as I do not have any personal experience with going through labor myself. That being said…
- I have thrown up a time or two myself (I did go to college after all 🙂 ) and know how it feels to do so.
- Some readers might have personal experiences that are different than what I describe. However it is important to remember that if I make a statement like “In general I have found most women in labor to do x, y, or z” I do not mean to say that there isn’t anyone out there that had a different experience. There are exceptions to every rule.
- Although I have only been working as either a nurse or nurse’s aide for approximately 5 years (which I understand does not make me the most experienced nurse out there) I have certainly been working directly with patients for long enough to know a thing or two about bodily functions, including when they are likely to happen, how to make someone feel better, and how to clean them up.
- I cannot speak for every labor and delivery nurse and midwife out there. After all, I have only worked in one labor and delivery ward (not counting nursing school clinical). But since you asked me I will answer your questions as if I was your nurse or midwife. I will also take into consideration what the other nurses and midwives I work with on a daily basis would do and how they too would react to the situations you present.
Now to some answers!! I will take your questions one at a time:
#1 Will the midwives be ok if I throw up all over the place? Will the staff get disgusted or freaked out?
Yes and No!! YES! The midwives and the labor and delivery nurses will be okay if you throw up all over the place and actually, they probably will not even bat an eye if you throw up! And NO! The staff will not get disgusted or freaked out if you throw up! If bodily functions bothered us, we wouldn’t be working in healthcare! I have been thrown up on before…more times than the average person for sure! I have been splashed with blood, amniotic fluid, pee, spit, and mucus. I have also cleaned up my fair share of explosive diarrhea. And if I do get splashed with something I just kept on doing what I was doing until I have a break where I can go change. (Remember L&D nurses usually have to wear hospital scrubs just in case they end up in the operating room. The other bonus to this set up is that if you get splashed with something gross then you just go in the locker room and change into a new pair of hospital scrubs!) I am sure over the course of time there has been some burnt out nurse that has said something really nasty or insensitive to a mother if she has thrown up but in reality, it’s all part of the job and the vast majority of nurses and midwives don’t get bothered by vomit!
#2 Will the staff clean it up or will I or my husband have to?
This question is assuming two thing: #1 That you are going to vomit (remember not all women vomit in labor) and #2 That if you do vomit that you will make a mess (remember not all women who vomit miss the bucket or don’t have a chance to throw up in a bucket). That being said…
I know I can’t speak for every single nurse out there but I would NEVER EVER expect a husband (or any coach for that matter, including the mother herself) to clean up something like that. After all it is the husband’s (or partner, coach) role to support the mother and if the mother did throw up, say, on the floor, I would ask the husband (partner, coach) to stay with the mother while I went to grab some towels to clean it up. And then I would clean it up quickly. And then it would be a non issue! Done!
One time I had a mother who was taken off guard by her need to vomit and accidentally threw up all over her bed. She was very apologetic but apologies were not necessary. I knew that she didn’t mean it! With the help of her husband I walked her into the bathroom and had her sit down on the toilet to pee. Her husband stayed in the bathroom with her. Within 5 minutes I had the completely remade the bed with clean sheets. Then I helped her into a fresh, new, warm gown and then back to bed. It was like it never happened! We all moved on and no one mentioned it again. After all, who was thinking about a little vomit when there was a BABY about to be born!
I learned from that experience and ever since then I always make sure that I give every mom a bath bucket when she is admitted and I put it right on her bedside table so that if she needs to throw up, it is right there for her. Because I do this, I have rarely ever had a mother throw up in labor and not use the bucket. Since you have a concern about vomiting, I would recommend that you ask your nurse for a bucket when you get to the hospital, just in case. And when I say bucket I mean bath bucket (or wash basin), not those ridiculous kidney shaped “emesis basins” that wouldn’t even be helpful to catch ladybug vomit!
Remember, although it is not rare for a mother to throw up in labor, it is rare that she throws up all over the place, or has no idea that it is coming. In my experience the vast majority of moms who vomit in labor do indeed make it into the bucket and therefore, there is nothing to clean up! Also remember that labor vomit is different that “stomach flu” vomit. That is, there is no risk to me as the nurse of getting sick from a laboring woman’s vomit because it is not caused by illness. I’d rather clean up your labor vomit over my own stomach flu vomit any day!
#3 What happens if it gets in my hair?
If you were my patient and you started to vomit I would hold your hair back. And I am sure that your husband would do the same for you too. That way you wouldn’t get any vomit in your hair at all. Have you considered putting your hair into a pony tail or clip while you are in labor? If your hair was up it would be very unlikely that it would get any vomit in it. Perhaps you can pack a few extra clips or elastics into your hospital bag just in case you need them. If you don’t usually wear your hair back you may want to consider wearing a few hair elastics around your wrist so that they are readily available if you need them to tie your hair back if you feel nauseous. I also have been known to cut the opening off a rubber glove and use it as a make-shift hair tie for just this type of circumstance!
However if a little bit of throw up did get in your hair and if I was your nurse I would probably wet a warm washcloth and clean it out. And then I would put your hair into a pony tail or clip for you to get it out of your face. If it was really bad (I have never seen this but I suppose that technically it could happen) and if your midwife allowed, I would help you into the shower. After all, many women find laboring in the shower to be extremely soothing and helpful!
#4 Will I choke because I might be lying down?
NO! You will not choke, even if you are lying down. Only people that are unconscious, have an impaired gag reflex, or are debilitated in some other way have a risk of choking on their own vomit. I have never seen a conscious laboring mother choke on her own vomit…NEVER. Why? Because every single healthy, able-bodied, conscious person sits up or leans over automatically when they start to vomit. I have never even seen a mother who was positioned flat on her back and numb from the breasts down for a cesarean choke on her own vomit. Why? Because every single healthy, able-bodied, conscious mother in that situation automatically turns their head to the side to vomit.
If necessary every hospital room and operating room has (or at least should have) a suction canister in it with a yankauer suction set just in case a mother does lose consciousness and her mouth needs to be suctioned. You might not have seen it when you toured your hospital because most birthing suites keep that kind of equipment behind pictures or in cabinets so that the room doesn’t look too “hospital like.” But they are there. I personally have only had to use the yankauer suction set ONE TIME as a labor and delivery nurse and I used it because my patient had an eclamptic seizure (a rare complication of preeclampsia) and when she came too she was really out of it (“post-ictal”) and her mouth needed to be suctioned because it was full of secretions. That’s it, one time only.
#5 Will everything be okay if I do vomit?
YES! In fact, labor and delivery nurses get excited when they see a patient vomit because vomiting is usually a sign of transition which is the last stage of active labor (usually 7-10 centimeters) right before a women begins the pushing phase. Remember whether or not she has been eating throughout early labor, a woman may still vomit when she enters transition so it is not necessary to starve yourself on purpose because you are afraid to vomit later on. In fact, some women vomit because they have done just that! (I know I personally get very nauseous as well as get a headache if I haven’t eaten anything all day). I always think of it as a way the body is “making more room” for the baby!
Also since vomiting, like holding your breath or making a bowel movement, is a vagal response, it inadvertently helps your cervix dilate and hence, is a great sign to a labor & delivery nurse! The body does awesome things to help the process along! So really it is not just okay if you vomit, it is GREAT if you vomit because it may help you cervix dilate! I also want you to know that you will not hurt anything if you vomit, including the baby or your cervix.
#6 Is it a different kind of vomiting – one that just kind of happens, rather than following hours of terrible nausea?
In my experience as a labor and delivery nurse most women who have a natural, unmedicated, spontaneous labor do NOT have hours and hours of nausea before they vomit. Instead, once there labor really starts to ramp up for the last few centimeters they get a feeling of nausea that gives everyone enough warning to grab the bucket and then they throw up. After throwing up, the vast majority of women have told me that they feel better. It is very rare that I have taken care of a woman who continues to throw up once they are 10 centimeters dilated and begin to push or is nauseous for hours and hours before they vomit. That being said…
Nausea and vomiting are very common side effects of narcotic pain medications (e.g. stadol, nubain, demerol, morphine etc.) as well as ALL forms of anesthesia (including labor epidurals as well as spinal blocks often performed for cesarean sections). Because of this, some physicians and midwives prescribe an anti-emetic (aka anti-nausea medication) like Phenergan, Zofran, or Reglan to be administered with the narcotic, epidural, or spinal to counter act this side-effect. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn’t. Because you have such a fear of vomiting I want you to be aware of this fact.
So there you have it: the skinny on vomiting in labor! I hope this has helped calm your fears and worries however if you have any more questions about this topic please feel free to leave a comment!!
Thank you for writing in to me. You are certainly not alone in your fears!!! I know that your question will help other women out there who experience the same fears as you! GOOD LUCK with your upcoming birth and CONGRATULATIONS to you!!! And remember, although birth might be one of the messiest experiences of your life, no amount of fluids, cursing, farting, pooping, striping naked, howling, crying, peeing, bleeding, or vomiting will take away from how honestly empowering, mind blowing, and touching this experience can be for you and your family!!
Sincerely,
NursingBirth
The Ol’ Bait and Switch, OR Finding Out Your OB Has Been Leading You On October 21, 2009
Tags: birth, birth plan, c-section, doctor, hospital birth, ICAN, L&D, labor & delivery, midwife, natural birth, OBGYN, pregnancy, transfer of care, Vaginal Birth After Cesarean, VBAC
Submitted on 2009/10/20 at 3:24pm
Comment under: Urgent Message from ICAN! Please Spread the Word!!
Dear Nursing Birth,
I’m a day short of 35 weeks pregnant today and went in for an OB appointment this morning. My doctor said that if I don’t go into labor on my own in my 39th week that (depending on how much and if my cervix is dilated) she might put me on pitocin- although she did say that “they don’t induce labor for VBAC patients”. But that they won’t let me go to 40 weeks, and that by 40 weeks they will have to schedule another c-section for me. (I live in Cedar Falls, IA)
I am shocked and angry! First of all- since when is 40 weeks, too late? My OB says it’s not wise to go to beyond 40 weeks due to increased risk of uterine rupture. But this just sounds like B.S. to me!
And how does the doc get away with not telling me something important like this until NOW? Unbelievable!! My doctor and I have already gone through my birth plan, line by line, because I want as few interventions as possible and no drugs, seeking a natural vaginal childbirth. I’ve taken 12 weeks of Bradley method birth classes to help my husband and I be better prepared this time. I also have a fantastic, knowledgeable, and supportive doula. But I can’t believe what a fight it is to have a VBAC!
If I had known sooner that this was the doctor/hospital policy for VBAC, I probably would have gone somewhere else. Since it’s so late in the game now, I’m probably going to stick it out. I don’t have to do anything they say, I can always stay at home and come in when I’m ready, and that will be after I am already in deep labor on my own.
I was just wondering if perhaps this reflects a change in my hospital’s policy for managing VBAC? One of the other OB’s I met with at the hospital said that after a high maintenance VBAC patient a few months ago (who also insisted on a natural vaginal childbirth, and did it, but most of the hospital staff were very unhappy dealing with this patient…?) that the hospital is reviewing whether to allow VBAC at all. I’m probably not helping the situation by openly trying to avoid their planned interventions. I KNOW I’m required to have continuous electronic fetal monitoring… but I’ve also been told that my labor has to be pretty much “text book” regarding continuous dilation of my cervix, and of course no tolerance for fetal distress…or else!
I just wish all women would know this before their first c-section. If you thought recovering from a c-section was bad, wait till you try to have a VBAC and deal with the red tape and lack of support from the medical community. It’s just so frustrating to have to be prepared to battle, and yet relax at the same time!
Have you heard of this kind of change in management of VBAC? That VBAC isn’t even allowed to go to 40 weeks?? Thanks for writing such an informative, educational blog and for being so supportive of natural childbirth! I have enjoyed your tips and insight from the hospital perspective (about writing birth plans, and managing your OB, and also the many ways hospital staff really will be supportive- even if you barf!).
Sincerely,
Kelly
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Dear Kelly,
WOW! I am so sorry that this is happening to you. You story deeply saddens, frustrates, and angers me because unfortunately YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Women all over this country have to fight everyday for their VBACs. Too many are unsuccessful.
First off I want you to know that your gut is absolutely right; 40 weeks is NOT too late and the research does NOT support your obstetrician’s claims.
Second, if that hospital is actually considering revising their entire VBAC “policy” in response to one mother who, as it sounds to me, shook the boat a little bit by demanding better care as well as exercising her right to informed refusal, they are absolutely outrageous and ridiculous! I would be skeptical of that story if I hadn’t recently read this about the sign placed at the entrance of the Aspen’s Women Center in Provo, Utah.
Third, sounds to me like you did everything right! You found what you thought was a VBAC supportive care provider, you researched your options and decided you wanted to stack as many cards in your favor as you could for a successful VBAC by planning a drug-free/intervention-free childbirth, you wrote up a birth planthat you painstakingly went through “line by line” with your physician early on in your pregnancy, you have sought out and taken childbirth preparation classes that are geared towards not only providing knowledge about how to have a successful natural childbirth but also help in preparing mentally and emotionally for such an important journey (and on top of that you took those classes with your husband!), and you even hired a doula. (Yup! Just as I suspected…you did everything you could!) So what happened?!?!…
Unfortunately you are a victim of the ol’ bait and switch.
It happens to women everyday around this country. And its existence is further proof that our maternity system is broken, in shambles really. There are some obstetricians, family practice physicians, and yes, even midwives that have become really friggin’ good at this awful game. Women write in to me all the time with similar frustrations and complaints as yours, Kelly. And I always find myself helpless and speechless. I don’t know how to help women avoid it and I struggle everyday in my own professional life with how to fight it and stop it!
The worst part of the ol’ bait and switch is the feeling of betrayal that most women report experiencing after they have been victimized they this outrageous action. (I want to note that I used the terms “betrayal” and “victimized” on purpose. I understand that they are very strong words but I feel they are the best to describe this very serious phenomenon). So why does it happen? Both from what I have personally experienced as a labor and delivery nurse as well as what I have read (for example: Born in the U.S.A by Marsden Wagner and Pushed by Jennifer Block) there is not one simple answer for why some healthcare providers use this “technique.” But there is no doubt in my mind that money, greed, fear of litigation, fear of losing patients, competition, superciliousness, willful ignorance, impatience, convenience, blatant disregard for evidenced based medicine, favoritism for the “because we’ve always done it this way” model of practice as well as favoritism for the paternalistic provider-patient model of practice (that is, the care provider only presents information on risks and benefits of a procedure/test etc. that he or she thinks will lead the patient to make the “right” decision (i.e. the provider supported decision) regarding health care) all have something to do with it. Providers who practice the ol’ bait and switch fall somewhere on the, what I like to call “Asshole to Apathy,” spectrum. Some may be bigger assholes than others, but in the end, they all fall somewhere on that spectrum in my experience.
[PHEW! Okay, WOW! Now I’m all worked up! Sorry, sorry! I don’t know where that rant just came from! But this kind of thing really burns by britches!]
So Kelly, you must be thinking, “Where does this leave me?” The good news is that Kristen, a philosophical doula blogger friend of mine over at BirthingBeautifulIdeas is author of an amazing series she calls “VBAC Scare Tactics” which I think is a resource that you, and other moms in your situation, might find very helpful. What you are describing sounds to me like VBAC scare tactics (#3): An early eviction date (aka “I’ll let you attempt a ‘trial of labor’ just as long as you go into labor before your due date. After that, we’re scheduling a repeat cesarean.”)
In each post she identifies one particular scare tactic, supplies a list of questions that a mother can ask her care provider in response to this scare tactic, and then provides an analysis and/or summary of the research that either challenges or even debunks the scare tactic and its insinuations. In the introduction to the series she writes,
“Many women who want to have a vaginal birth after cesarean (or VBAC, pronounced “vee-back”) in this country have faced some sort of opposition from their care providers when they have expressed their desire to VBAC.
Sometimes this opposition is blatant. Sometimes this opposition becomes obvious only at the end of the third trimester. (Many VBAC-ing moms refer to this tactic as a “bait-and-switch” since it involves a supposedly VBAC-supportive care provider rescinding this support once the actual VBAC is imminent.) Sometimes even a care provider’s “support” of VBAC is instead a conditional, half-hearted, or perhaps sneakily-disguised opposition to VBAC. These “scare tactics” are often misleading, exaggerated efforts by OBs (and yes, even midwives) to discourage women from VBAC and to encourage them to “choose” a repeat cesarean. (Of course, it’s not really a choice if your provider won’t even “let” you VBAC, is it?)
If you do find yourself facing such scare tactics, and if you do want to have a VBAC, there are some questions that your care provider should be able to answer when s/he hurls those scary and/or outrageous comments and standards your way. And if s/he refuses to or even cannot answer these questions, then you might want to consider finding an alternative care provider–one who is making medical decisions based on research, evidence, and even respect for your patient autonomy and not on fear, willful ignorance, or even convenience.”
Things I love about BirthingBeautifulIdeas’ VBAC scare tactic posts include:
#1 Her writing is organized and clear. (You know how much I love organization and lists!)
#2 She respects research and understands the importance of evidenced based medicine. (In fact, the reason BirthingBeautifulIdeas is aware of much of the research she cites is because she actually used said research studies in weighing her own decision about whether to have an elective repeat cesarean section or instead prepare and plan for a VBAC.)
#3 She has personal experience with this subject. (In fact she not only experienced a VBAC scare tactic and the “bait-and-switch” with her former OB, but also made the difficult decision to and successfully did transfer her care to a VBAC supportive care provider late in her pregnancy (at 37 weeks to be exact!) as well as experienced a subsequent and successful VBAC hospital water birth. Check out her story “My very own VBAC waterbirth”.)
#4 She does not provide advice. As she said herself, she is NOT anti-OB nor is she telling women to do anything. Instead she provides tools that allow women to make their own decisions and stick up for their own decisions about the birth of their babies hoping that in doing so women come out of their birth experiences feeling positive and empowered, regardless of the outcome.
Kelly, please check out the post VBAC scare tactics (#3): An early eviction date. I was going to write to you about the research and such on the topic but BirthingBeautifulIdeas has already done such a fantastic job herself that it wouldn’t even be worth it to summarize her article.
While I’m at it, here’s the entire VBAC scare tactics series:
VBAC scare tactics (#1): VBAC = uterine rupture = dead baby (aka “Why would you want to risk a VBAC only to have a ruptured uterus and a dead baby?”)
VBAC scare tactics (#2): When bad outcomes in the past affect patient options in the future (aka “I’ve seen a bad VBAC outcome, and it was terrible. You really don’t want to choose a VBAC over a repeat cesarean.”)
VBAC scare tactics (#3): An early eviction date (aka “I’ll let you attempt a ‘trial of labor’ just as long as you go into labor before your due date. After that, we’re scheduling a repeat cesarean.”)
VBAC scare tactics (#4): No pre-labor dilatation = no VBAC (aka “Since you are 39 weeks pregnant and your cervix isn’t dilated or effaced, it looks like you probably won’t go into labor on your own ‘in time.’ We need to schedule a repeat cesarean and forgo a VBAC attempt.”)
VBAC scare tactics (#5): VBACs aren’t as safe as we thought they were (aka “You know, VBACs aren’t as safe as we thought they were. They are much more dangerous to you and your baby. A repeat cesarean is the safer route.”)
A VBAC scare tactic interlude (Thoughts and resources on transferring your care to a VBAC supportive care provider, inducing labor when you have a history of a cesarean and weighing the pros and cons of pain medications and interventions if you are planning a VBAC.)
VBAC scare tactics (#6): CPD or FTP = no VBAC (aka“Here in your chart, it says that your cesarean was for failure to progress (FTP). Oh, and there’s also a note here about cephalopelvic disproportion (CPD). You’re not really an ideal VBAC candidate since your cesarean wasn’t for fetal distress or breech presentation, so we need to schedule a repeat cesarean.”)
VBAC scare tactics (#7): Playing the epidural card (aka “An epidural can mask the signs of uterine rupture, so I do not permit my VBAC patients to have an epidural during their labors.” OR “In case of an emergency cesarean, I require all of my VBAC patients to have an epidural in place in early labor. That way, we will not have to wait for the anesthesiologist to get the epidural in place if a uterine rupture occurs.”)
VBAC Scare Tactics (#8): The MD trump card (aka “Look, I’m the one who has earned the medical degree and I am telling you that you cannot attempt a VBAC. Your only choice is a repeat cesarean. Period.”)
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Kelly you wrote, “Since it’s so late in the game now, I’m probably going to stick it out. I don’t have to do anything they say, I can always stay at home and come in when I’m ready, and that will be after I am already in deep labor on my own.” You are right. You don’t have to do anything they say. You have the right as a patient to both informed consent as well as informed refusal. However I want to say a few things. (Here comes my cyber pep-talk, meant of course to be 100% supportive of whatever you chose and not at all meant to give you advice. But I don’t think many women get a chance to hear from anyone what I am about to tell you. To get the full intent of this pep talk just picture me standing behind you vigorously rubbing your shoulders as I squirt water into your mouth from a sports bottle and wipe the sweat off your face. So here it goes…)
You deserve the opportunity to have the unmedicated, intervention-free birth that you have planned for. Your desires for said unmedicated, intervention-free VBAC are well supported by the research. You deserve to be cared for by a birth attendant who shares your philosophy regarding (among other things) childbirth and VBAC. You deserve to NOT have to worry about fighting anyone to be given a fair chance at having the birth you have been planning…not the hospital, not the nursing staff, not your obstetrician, NOT ANYONE. You deserve it for THIS birth.
I know that it is scary to even think about transferring care to a new care provider so late in the game. But I encourage you to at least think about it. Even if you think that there are many limitations in your options regarding availability, insurance, distance, etc. etc, it is worth it to you to at least check it out. I also encourage you to get in touch with your local ICAN chapter (unless, of course, you have already done that.) Some of the members might be able to give you some suggestions on VBAC friendly care providers that they know actually attend VBACs! Sometimes even if a VBAC friendly midwife or doctor is booked they will make an exception for a late transfer of care if a doula friend or former patient calls and asks for a favor. (I’ve seen it happen before with my local ICAN chapter). Also ICAN’s website has a variety of helpful articlesfor moms planning a VBAC against hospital or provider resistance.
I can tell by your story that you are a very strong woman and my gut tells me that you will indeed fight for your rights even if you stay with your current obstetrician. You just shouldn’t have to do that and it saddens me that any your energy is going to be dedicated to defending yourself during your birth. Even one tiny little bit of energy devoted to that is too much! You deserve more! You deserve better! I think you said it perfectly when you wrote, “It’s just so frustrating to have to be prepared to battle, and yet relax at the same time!”
I couldn’t agree more!
So Kelly, I wish you the best of luck! And like many of my readers, I really wish I was going to be your labor and delivery nurse! CONGRATULATIONS on your pregnancy and on your upcoming birth! I will keep you in my thoughts and I hope that you will one day come back and tell us how your birth went! I hope that this post has helped you in some way. Oh and please apologize to your friends and family for me since you probably will be wasting a lot more time in front of the computer now that I have provided so much reading material! Haha!
Sincerely,
NursingBirth